Welcome to Reflections of a Buddhist Pole Dancer!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Quality Time, Any Time?

"Uh-oh. Looks like Strep," Brian said as he peered at my tonsils and off to Urgent Care I went. Not a hypochondriac-type, I don't rush to the doctor for any ol' hang nail, but when my throat hurts to the point of not wanting to talk or eat (two of my favorite things!), I'm willing to do something about it. One hour later the doctor reported that the strep test was negative and I was on my way back home. Waste of time? Hardly. I got uninterrupted time to read two more juicy chapters of Club Dead (from the True Blood series). Escapism? Not to me. It's all about enjoying the moment. (I have to laugh when I realize that it takes a trip to the doctor for me to get time to myself, though!)

I first learned about mindfulness and being aware of the present when I went through treatment for leukemia in 1997. I've been studying it since and often feel that I am no closer to mastering it than before. How elusive the obvious can be! So often the day to day moments escape my attention while I focus on that perpetual to-do list or the mental chit-chat in my mind. Macy's diabete's diagnosis gives me another opportunity (and a swift kick-in-the-pants reminder!) to tune in. You see, when it comes to Macy, I freeze with fear when I think too far ahead. Worrisome, unanswerable What-If questions sprout in my head and I am stuck in a future place that does not exist. When I remember to be mindful- knowing that all I have is this moment- I look at Macy, I see her smile, and life is good.


Sandy said...

YIKES! Strep! No Strep! Sore Throat - - Ouch!
Good thing you went to the doctor - - and hooray for a little time to yourself. I hope you are on the mend soon!

leslie said...

I am just now getting settled in at home, but am so happy you're
writing!!! I noticed that your
title is Right here. Right now. It feels happy that yesterday as I
was drifting off into a nap, I was thinking "here" on the inhalations
and "now" on the exhalations. Coincidence? Hmmmmm...

You'll be getting a book that was recommended to me this weekend:
When Things Fall Apart. My girlfriend read this after her husband's infidelity drove them to counseling and the counselor recommended it. They stayed married (!) and she continues to love the book. I got a copy for me too. Read it if you'd like, and I'll do the same, and maybe we'll find something that fits???

Finally, I'd send this by email, but my computer isn't letting me send you anything that way. Love you, little sister!