Welcome to Reflections of a Buddhist Pole Dancer!



Monday, February 9, 2009

Running From, Running Toward

Five miles. I made up my mind this morning to run the full five miles on West Cliff, something I hadn't done for a long, long time. A brisk, beautiful day, the waves, less savage than the stormy days prior, reached the shore with faded enthusiasm. Not me, though-- I was just getting started!

What I'm running FROM:
  • The feeling of helplessness: Fear of Macy's lows. Particularly at night or when she's at school. I often feel like it's my fault-- did I give her too much insulin? Too little food? Am I so bad at math that I miscalculated her carbs?
  • Anger: See above.
  • Muffin top: The way I see it, Oil spills. Milk spills. But mid-section spills? Enough of that already!

What I'm running TOWARD:

  • Peace of mind: I sort so much out when I run.
  • Strength: Five miles! I love the way it feels when I push myself a little bit more.
  • Balance: Running is one of the only things I do by myself, just for me.
  • Health: Fresh ocean air and my heart is pumping!
  • Joy: I absolutely love running!

1 comment:

leslie said...

Love how you write! Love that we BOTH ran 5 miles yesterday! And love your new profile picture!

HATE Valentine's Day and thinking about Macy's first one post-diagnosis. Think it's a stupid sugar-laden holiday.

LOVE you!