Welcome to Reflections of a Buddhist Pole Dancer!

Sunday, May 31, 2009

And the theme for June is....

JOEY! No, no, no...I haven't succumbed to my mid-life crisis and gone gaga for some guy named Joey who calls me babycakes and uses the phrase ba-da-bing a lot. You know me better than that. June is actually about j-o-y, but because that's my mom's middle name and she spells it j-o-E-y, and since she's the most joy-filled person I know, I thought I'd spell it that way too!

I thought of many themes: mindfulness (been there), play (done that), awareness (lighten up! It's summer!) and Joey is the one that sticks! Imagine the fun I can have with Joey! Joey in being with my kids, joey in my spiritual experiences, joey in my body, joey with the moment! The possibilities are endless! I can't wait for tomorrow, so I'm already feeling the fun of this theme today on the last day of May.

My mom gave me a great idea for the summer. We're going to create a schedule starting mid-June for Mac&Bre's (like Mac and cheese) Summer Camp. Each week of "camp" will have its own theme that will come with a designated craft, lesson, story, and excursion. For example, if it's animal camp week, we might make animal masks, learn about zoos and why they're important, take a trip to the SF Zoo, and read a chapter from a classic animal story each night (my mind blanks here, but I know I'll find a fantastic book!). Other themes that Mac and Bre have shown interest in are: Dog Camp, Art Camp, Earth Camp, Camping camp, Hannah Montana Camp, Beach Camp and Pirate Camp. The creative possibilities are mind-blowing! If I follow through with this fabulous idea it will put a loose purpose around time that can slip through our fingers as one summer day melts into the next. I love that there's plenty of room for flexibility, too, should other plans come up.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

A few questions for me

Is today the day?
Is it the day the bullsh*t stops?
The day that only truly important things matter?
Is it the day I do what I say? Do what I want?
Is today the day that I do what my heart begs me to do?
Is it the day of beginnings or the day of endings?
Will I be happy with what I've exchanged one day of my life for when I slip under the covers and nod off to sleep?
Will I get another chance or is today all I have left?
Will I get to play again? Will they ask me? Invite me?
Will I still matter to them? Is it too late?
Will he still want me? Will he still want to be mine? Or is he too tired...too?
I am nervous with anicipation,
reluctant to move forward because I'm fearing the end.
Wanting to hold the pause button as I get myself together and can finally be who I am supposed to be.
Is today the day I press play?